fearnot

rewind time

2009-07-09T06:01:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder if you could rewind time? Like for example something bad happened, and how you wished that you could go back into the past, do something different, so that the bad incident would not have taken place. Or another contrasting example, something good happen! And how you hope that you can rewind time, go back to the past, and make the good thing happen over and over again, you just want to stay in the past, in the dream, not wanting to come back to reality. You want the time to stop for you, you want to enjoy life!

Sometimes I really wonder, if God gave us the ability to rewind time, won't we have a super blessed life? All the wrong decisions we made, we just go back to the past and adjust it.

Take for example, an incident that happened to me. I thought I could report to camp at 9am this morning due to some incidents that took place, but when I was leaving my house at 7.30am, my ns friend asked me where am I, and when I replied that I was still at bedok, I found out that I was supposed to report to camp at the usual time, 7am. I was super scared, as my camp is super far from my house. I immediately flagged a cab in a hurry and cab all the way down. Thank God, nothing happened to me although I was late.

When I was on the cab, I was really hoping that if I have the ability to rewind time back to yesterday, I could have advoided all the hassle and troubles.

But then again, if we have the ability to do it, will we still need God? Will we still need to rely on Him? I don't think so. Humans in nature are not perfect being, thats why we are below God, we need Jesus to die on the cross for us. The bible describe us as "sheep", and God is the sheperd. If you know how a sheep is like, you will certainly know that sheep is one of the most stupid and blur animals ever! Without a sheperd, a sheep is always lost, always will be preyed by wolfs.

I thank God that we don't have the ability to rewind time, or in that case, perfect being. Because of our imperfection, we can come to rely on God, we can rely on Holy Spirit to guide us, and we can experience God's abundance blessing and witness His faithfulness time and time again! And most importantly, we have a Father that will accept us for who we are, what we did. His unconditional love.

I believe in our life, nothing happens Coincidentally. Everything happens for a reason, whether whatever happen is good or bad. I will praise God for whatever happens in my life, if it is good, I will praise Him for His blessing and His love. If it is bad, I will still praise Him, for I know that He is moulding me, refining me, and His love that will be there for me. When something bad happen, I will praie God, for I know that if I rely on Him, God will lead me to victory, I will be able to witnessed His faithfulness again!

I should not have did something during my BMT time. Though it was just a simple conversation on the sms, it lead to much complicated stuff after that. It even came to a point where I was tempted to break the 2 years convenant I have with God. But God reminded me that He still remember the convenant that I have with Him. I turned back and focus on God. And God took away the distraction, took away the thoughts.

Though it is painful, and I really regretted doing what I did in my BMT, - how I wished I can get back to the past and do the right things! - I am praising God, I will still praise God! His faithfulness in my life and His care for me never fails. It is painful, but it is an awakening moment for me. God want me to honour the convenant, and I will do it. A lesson learned, but I will not trade anything else for this lesson, as God has used this lesson to remind me again that He want to be the first in my life.

My life is for You God, let Your glory shine on me.

REACTIVATE

2009-06-09T23:10:00.000-07:00

Well so here I am, blogging again. Its been a while since I last blogged. When was the last post, 1 of dec 2008? That was before the time I was enlisted man. Too long. So for now, I will try my best to blog frequently, to give updates of what is happening in my life. Also, to share my thoughts and my view..

As everybody knows, I entered National Service on the 3rd of december. I have passed through BMT training, and have been posted to Armour camp, Sungei Gedhong. Today the date is 10 of june, I have already been serving NS for more then 6 months! Though it felt like I have served for 2 years already.. 448 days to ORD! The days are passing too slowly..

However through these 6 months, I have witnessed and encountered God's faithfulness in my life countless of times. I believed that I will continued to experience God's favour throughout the remaining of my NS period, and also the rest of my life! Yes! I declare it in the name of Jesus! Not because of what I did, or how good I am. No. Simply because of the fact that I am the son of the Highest King.

Well thats all for now. Will keep you guys posted. Ciao

Arise again, Unprofane (Hopefully)

2008-12-01T09:51:00.000-08:00

Well its 1.51 am, and I am still not yet sleeping. 1 more days b4 i am enlist to tekong. So got to take live as casual as possible rite? Slack all I want, or else in there no more slacking liaoz.

Anyway I just talk to one of my buddy through the phone, and we have been talking about our dreams and visions for next year. What we have accomplish this year during 2008, and what we plan to hit next year. 2008 is really a breakthrough year to me, I came to know God better in many many ways and I love Him much more then I do in 2007. And more importantly, I come to a point, where i am much clearer of what God's will in my life is. I know where He wants me to go, and I will strive super hard for it. For my buddy too, he also have alot of breakthrough in his life, and I believe that he will be even better in 2009.

Back to our conversation through the phone, we came upon a topic again. This topic is about a dream we use to share, and work hard towards it. But then, it seems like God's hand seems to be against it. So after much prayer and consultation, we decided to stop it. But when we discuss it on the phone again, I felt that.. I don't know.. I am confused. Is it really God is against it? Or is it just another moulding, to bring us closer to our common dream?

I have no idea, neither does my other party. Guess I have to just keep praying, and if its God's will, then it will be done. But I do hope that it will be God's will. It will be much different.

Lets hope, with a hopeful heart.

battle

2008-11-15T07:14:00.000-08:00

Our life is a battle, our whole life is a battle. One that will only end when we die, when we go to heaven and meet our creator. We fight to achieve what we want, we fight to defeat our weaknesses in life that is always pulling us down. We fight to win victory over the devil. We fight everyday. Everyday, when you wake up, its a new battle. And it only ends at night, when we fall into our sleep, when we rest for the next day battle. SO many things that we need to fight to achieve, so many things we need to pay the price to get it

But then, are we really fighting? How many of us have been slacking off, not daring to fight the dreams that we once had so passionately to achieve for God? How many of us have choose to lay low, lay low in our "bunker", waiting for this battle to pass? How many of us have choose to stand up for righteousness, for justice and take a stand? How many of us, are really going to live, before we die??

We can never win, if we don't fight. We can never achieve what we want, if we don't choose to fight our lazyness, fight our unconfidence, fight our "realistic" mindset, fight our slackness. We WILL never win, if we don't stand and declare War upon our enermy, our boundaries, our blockade.

Lets stand up, and be a true soilder of God, and lets win this war for God. Lets rely on His spirit, and glorify GOd by winning our life battles.

Simple life

2008-10-16T18:02:00.000-07:00

Well, its really been a while since i last updated my blog. Really quite a long time, in fact. I will be starting the next phase of my life soon, a phase that will determine whether I am a man, or just a sissy. A phase that will help me get fitter, and of cause, slimmer.(finally) A phase that will last 2 long years! Yes.. National Service.. My enlistment date will be on the 3rd of December, which is like, super fast ya. Now is already 17 Oct, left 47 days, before I am ship to Tekong for training. Well in any case, like what my parents told me, faster go in, faster come out.

There will be a few things I will miss for sure. Firstly, my family. Won't be able to see them for quite sometimes. And then, I will miss my cell group. Don't know whether in Tekong will have time to book out on friday. And then also, my friends. Hopefully won't lose contact with you guys.. Lastly, My Handax and Yamaha.. which means MY ACOUSTIC GUITAR AND CLASSICAL GUITAR!!! I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU GUYS!! SOB SOB...

-_-.. ok enough of that. Its just 2 pieces of wood with some metal strings. Anyway, come to the more serious thing. I believe that God will be with me throughout the whole ns years, yes for 2 years. I also believe that God will be my light and my guide, and His spirit will be with me, and whatever that I need to change will be changed. And also, I really Know that God's faithfulness never fail to amaze me. He will be there for me.. whether I am in Bmt, or field camp, or firing range, or unit. Bro and Sis in christ, please pray for me :

1) to have the endurance and also the strength to go through this phase, especially for BMT.
2) that God will give me the knowledge in my ns life, and I will be able to serve the army without heaps of troubles on my head.
3) that I will be able to meet good friends inside, and more importantly, bring them to Christ.
4) that my faith in Christ will not fall, that I will not be pull down by the Ns life, but I can be mould and refine by God through this process.
5) Let me influence the others around me, and not the other way round.

Thanks, I really need your prayer and support.

Anyway, what revolves around my life is these, firstly, of cause is God. Secondly, music. I hope that after ns I will be able to pursue fully after music, and live my life to the fullest. Thridly, my cell group. I know that God put me in this cell group. So I will do my best in doing what I can to contribute, and bring more people to christ.

That is all, I want to keep my life as simple and as focus as possible. Don't want to have too much distraction for these few years.

Lets live for God.

The Him - Her (part 2)

2008-08-26T09:36:00.000-07:00

A lonely walk down this black road.. I can't see anything in front of me.. Where am I? I lookedaround, trying to judge where I am. This is neither the normal world, and it doesn't look like Hades, and I am 100% sure that this is not heaven.. There is just a flat landscape around me, with no trees or anything, and no one around. There is no color in this world, just greyness, like black and white mix together. Sort of like those oldies movies. Maybe this is the resting place people always said that the dead will go before judgment day? That is even better.. at least I am dead.. As what the Japanese will say, death is as light as a feather..when the wind blows, it just carry you away..

I am not feeling any fear, any happiness or any emotional.. just simple emptiness. Maybe that is how a dead person would be. No emotional, no nothing.

And then suddenly, "HEY!" a voice sounded from somewhere behind me, and then followed by a stream of light laughter. "You ignoring me now, huh?" another giggle.I turned around, towards the direction of where the voice is coming from, and my emptiness collapsed.

Clara

She was giggling at me, and her eyes were bright, like the morning stars. Her hair was silky straight, and softly dancing with the wind. She had a white dress on, and this time, she looked.. angelic. NO. She is definitely an angel! From heaven! Maybe I was in heaven! I ran towards her as fast as possible, and my emptiness was replace instantaneously by joy. PURE JOY. I have never been so joyful in my life before, and then suddenly, the greyness disappeared , and the world was suddenly full of color! More beautiful and more lively then what you get from HD tv. The sky is blue, the landscape is green!

When I finally reached her, I was panting softly. "Clara.. Clara.." I touched her hand. Once more, my emotional changes drastically. Happiness, gone.

Her hand was cold.. too cold.. and her skin is white.. too white, like those dead people kind. All of a sudden, the smile dissapeared, her eyes were no longer sparkling. Her expression was sad, too damn sad, fountain of tears was pouring out from her eyes.. again the surrounding changes back to greyness.. and this time, the wind picked up strongly, maybe a speed of Beaufort scale no 10. "why did you wreck our future.. why did you greed.. why did you do things without thinking.." she whispered softly..

"Clara, I can explain.. Please listen to me!" I pleaded. But it was as if she did not hear my pleading at all. She continue to cry, and her voice was getting louder, and louder.. like someone turning up the volume knob slowly.

"Why did you do things your own way? Why didn't you think of me when you make the decision.. Why? Why?" She was literally talking loudly now.

I tried to match her volume by shouting back" Please Clara, let me explain! I really -"

"WHY ARE YOU A JIERK! WHY DID YOU WREK THE RELATIONSHIP THAT WE WORKED SO HARD TO MAINTAIN??!" She bellowed. "I HATE YOU!"

I tried to run towards her, but she seems to be drifting away. I tried to run faster to cover up our distance, but I never seems to be able to keep up.

"CLARA! I AM SORRY! COME BACK! COME BACK!" I shouted with tears streaming down my eyes, She mean everything to me. "COME BACK COME BACK! " I shouted till my voice went hoarse.

And then, BLAM. I felt my face exploded in pain.

Song for my season now

2008-08-19T20:56:00.000-07:00

Desert Song
This is my prayer in the desert
when all that's within me feels dry
this is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame

I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on it's way
I am a conquerer and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

I will bring praise I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice i will declare
God is my victory and He is here

All of my life In every season You are still God
I have a reason to sing I have a reason to worship

Embracing music

2008-08-14T19:31:00.000-07:00

Well Well, its really been a while since I last blog. No ling gan to blog at all. But now, at least got something to write about.

Well I must say this month, alot of things have happen. And I must also say, it really trigger my life. Think by now, most of the people reading my blog should know that I have withdraw from poly during the starting of this year. But then again, some of you might not know the actual reason. Its because I want to study music, nothing more then that, and nothing other then that.

Why? some people might asked. Why don't you study finish the 3 years, and then after that come out get a stable job? And then you can advance in music。 Of cause, these people are not wrong. In fact, their advice is rational. Their advice is good too. But then, I choose to walk this music path is because I really want my life to concertrate on music, I want to fulfill my life as a musician, not some other job. I want my life to really take music seriously, and I mean seriously.

And then another group of people might think that after I go into ns, my mind will not be so clouded with the "Ambitious" thoughts in my head. They think that I may be "chong dong" at this point of time. So here in this post, I just want to clarify, going into music is not a careless move on my part. I have already been thinking about it and praying about it since starting of this year. I am , and I will be going into music. I am going all out for it.

These few days are really a life changing experience for me. I admit, that I have been too lazy, too slack to really spend time on my gutiar skills and classical knowledge. But God really use some words from some of my closest leaders and my parents to wake me up. I felt terrible, I feel like as in a bomb just wenf off in my head. I really have been wasting time.

So now, I will be spending quality time on my music, God is first in my life, and then followed by music. All the others like work, serving etc etc can come after that. My main focus is on GOd and music, all the others can wait. Like what my leader said, If you really want to go for music, you better go all out for it. Its do or die. Which is entirely true.

Let my life be consume by music.

Syncthia Sasa (Chapter 2)

2008-07-05T08:41:00.000-07:00

The stranger turned towards the voice, and noticed that a young punk, maybe 18 years old was sitting behind the counter, just him alone. The stranger eye the guy supiciously, and walk towards the guy, right hand into his coat's pocket, griping the handle of the Beretta.. Just to be careful.

The stranger didn't want any thing to mess up this time round, especially not in a critical mission like that, where millions of dollar were high at stake, at the stranger stake of cause. Complete this mission, the stranger will be going to a long awaited honeymoon that he owned his tigeress that is resting at home now, of cause with a couple of twenty thousands dollars that his boss will give him. Fail this mission? It was unthinkable. Firstly, I will get my ass busted down the rank, and will be condemn forever. Secondly, Jane the tigeress will probably chase me out of the room.. sleeping in the living room.. declare cold war on me.. etc etc.. The stranger shook his head vigorously, not wanting to be distracted at this point of time.

“Yea?” he asked the 18 year old guy. “Er, its just that I can see you trying to make your way into the theater, but you didn't have any tickets right?” The guy replied matter of factly.

Damn! The stranger cursed at himself. He was really too nervous, that he could have let such an stupid mistake happened. “Oh, sorry. Its just that I thought this whole big building was souless except for me.”

“:Yea, happened before. There was once a couple who came into the cinema to er, watch a movie and do some exercise (The guy grinned at this point) in the theater. Of cos, I can't interrupt them in their middle of their workout. So after the whoel thing ended, I ask them to pay up for their tickets.”

“Well bet you don''t get to see this kinda of thing too often. I want ticket for "Forever Love” The stranger handed a ten dollars bill to the cashier, who in turn gave him the ticket to the show. "You like any popcorn to go with the movie?"

"Nope. thank you." The Stranger whirled around and head for the theater. His right hand finally releasing the handle of the beretta.

"Oh by the way!"

Damn it! What is with this guy?! The Stranger almost lost his cool, thinking it will be a great relief for himself to shoot off this guy head. But no. He can't kill a innocence 3rd party who was not involved in this case, no matter how annoying and how much that person deserved to die. The Stranger forced a smile onto his face.. "Yes?"

"You are watching "Forever Love"? A dude like you?"

"Yes, indeed I am."

"Er, Ok, but that is wierd you know?"

The stranger laugh aloud. "Weird? haha.. believe me , you might see weirder things after tonight." With that, he walk into the theater, leaving the punk pondering at his last few words.

scynthia sasa (The Stranger)

2008-06-28T10:37:00.000-07:00

The Stranger was walking down a granite path, towards THE COMPLEX. THE COMPLEX is considered the biggest Shopping Mall in town. It could easily contained up to 90 retail shops. The complex used to be a place, where it was always pack with shopper, children, teenagers, old grampy, hell.. even gays and lesbians.

BUT NOW? The Stranger thought .Heck, this place is so damn empty and creepy. It can be use to film for a ghost movie. Or even better! A ROMANCE FIlM WOOHOO! The Stranger shouted.

"Cool! I like romance story. Maybe the love story between a typical guy, and a typical gal. Both of them decided that they should meet here once every 4 years, so as a test to their relationship, see if they can substain it alnot. hmm sounds familiar.. THE LEAP YEARS?" The Stranger smile to himself. How he wish that he could be a director or a writer, or even a typical occupation, like most of the hardworking lads out there, accountant or something. Ah!! Anything other then this stupid JOB! This stupid assignment! Its killing me!

THE COMPLEX is just right infront of him now. The Stranger stop hastily, took a good look, before entering the empty+big building. The glass door automatically slide open upon his approach. "Welcome to THE COMPLEX" a nice computated voice came out from the speaker. The stranger enter the building, then his jaw dropped.

Empty, yes. But old? Rundown? NONO! The floor was sparkling clean, and all the escalator are working perfectly. There was even nice music playing from the speakers. This even make the whole place more creepy, more haunting. THERE IS NOT A SINGLE SOUL AROUND! Well, maybe no one other than me... The Stranger make his way towards toward the cinema, where he really need to go. No time wasting! Time is money!

The Stranger made his way up to the 4th level, in which the cinema is located at. The interior of the cinema is nicely design. The floor is carpeted, and dim orange lamps was hung from the celling, creating a very sensation atmosphere. But, no one except him is around in the cinema. Everything is so nicely maintained.. the whole place look so new, but how come there was no one around? The Stranger thought.

"Hey buddy.. You came here to catch a movie? or what?" The Stranger spun around towards the voice.

as tempting as an apple, but i shall not want.

2008-06-22T09:23:00.000-07:00

This is an nick I put up on my Msn 2 years before. During in that point of time, i sort of like a girl. She is really very attractive, i believe i am not the only victim.. haha.. so during that time, i was really under alot of trial and difficulties, why? Because firstly, i know that its not God's will for me to like this girl. And secondly, i think this is the reason that is the most hurtful, i guess i like the girl, and she don't like me.

But GOd is merciful, and release me from this temptation. I no longer have any feeling for this girl anymore.. for half a year..

Until last year, this thing came back, and find that my heart is cleanse, and unguarded, so it came and live in my heart again... I am been too slack on my heart and my spiritual life, too soft on myself, take God for granted too much. And right now, I am facing this problem again, the same girl, the same problem.. Its really a big hole in my life.

Deep in my heart, I know that i can never be with this girl, and worse, deep in my heart i know that i can never please God with this problem in my life. It will stuck my life, stuck my relationship with God, stuck my dreams my passion.

Of couse its not the girl fault, i think she doesn't even know about this problem that is in my life, she doesn't know that i have feeling for her.

COme to think of it, its quite silly don't you think? So immature for me to have this kind of feeling. Its really wasting too much time already..

So Here I come before God, I want to stop thinking about this thing, this feeling that i fanatasize myself. Enough is enough. I shall not want this problem anymore. I will breakthrough.

this song is super nice

2008-06-19T08:36:00.001-07:00

I am really very touch by this song. A song that come from the heart of a group of worshipper.

http://www.jango.com/play/lifehouse/everything/

EVERYTHING

Find me hereAnd speak to me I want to feel you

I need to hear you You are the light

That's leading me to the place Where I find peace again

You are the strength That keeps me walking

You are the hope That keeps me trusting

You are the light to my soul You are my purpose

You're everything And how can I stand here with you

And not be moved by you Would you tell me how could it be Any better than this

You calm the storms And you give me rest You hold me in your hands

You won't let me fall You still my heart

When you take my breath away Would you take me in take me deeper now

And how can I stand here with you And not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be Any better than this

And how can I stand here with you And not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it beAny better than this

Cause you're all I wantYou're all I need

You're everything, everything

You're all I wantYou're all I need

You're everything, everything

You're all I wantYou're all I need

You're everything, everything

You're all I wantYou're all I need

Everything, everything

And how can I stand here with you And not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be Any better than this

And how can I stand here with you And not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be Any better any better than this

And how can I stand here with you And not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it beAny better than thisWould you tell me how could it beAny better than this

the him - her part 2

2008-06-10T09:11:00.000-07:00

Woman oh Woman...

2008-06-02T06:29:00.000-07:00

haha here is a email i will share with you guys.

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.

She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, 'If you release me fromthis trap, I will grant you three wishes.'

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, 'Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get ten times' .

The woman said, 'That's okay.'

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, 'You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to'.

The woman replied, 'That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me.'

So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, 'That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you.'

The woman said, 'That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine.'

So, KAZAM - she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, 'I'd like a mild heart attack.'

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers: Please scroll down.. There's more to this story.... ... .. ... ... .. ... .... .. ... ... ...

The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.

Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart. ok, all Ladies can stop reading cus this joke is seriously questioning your inteligence.

STOP PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!! Forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a good sense of humor.

Hey this is only a email i receive from my frens. I personally felt that woman are smart in their daily live, and I am definetly not bias agaist woman. Treat this email as a joke, don't take it too seriously

Over this mountain, and onto the next...

2008-05-11T09:05:00.000-07:00

Recently, I have been looking back. Back, all the way back, 4years ago when i first started joining BC. And I realize, this 4 years had been fruitful, so many things have happen! And the best thing is all this year, God is faithful through it all.

Its like climbing the Great Wall of China. The christian walk is the same. When you start to walk, maybe you will feel on fire. Then after a while, problems start to come. In church, maybe you will encounter problem. In cell group, maybe you will encounter problem. And in life, you might feel that, hey, how come God let me down?? How come God fail me? But then, when you press on, when you refuse to give in to the problems that surround you, you continue to climb. And the problems and attacks start to fade. Sometimes you will not feel the problems and attacks start to fade at once. We might not experience the same powerful experience that Elijah had experienced (2 kings 2:11-12). But then when you suddenly look back, you will suddenly realize, "The problems that once surround me is gone!" When you suddenly look back at your journey, you will see that you had already come a long way. God will never fail us, He will never let us go, no matter what. When you turn back and count the blessings that God had given you, the numbers will be so great, that you might mess up before finish counting.(some of the blessings we might even have forgetten liao)

But even so, human will be human. We are living in a very emo world.

Even though sometimes I look back and count my blessing, I will feel that even if all the blessings add up, will not be enough for me to climb the next mountain of my life. I felt lost, I feel hopeless, I feel giving up...

But then, that is when God step into my life and say "Let me take charge from here onwards." The bible say that, when we are weak, God is strong.

Right now in my life, I have already pass one mountain. I am climbing the other one. I want to really climb the second mountain in my life, towards God's will.

God Truly bless us!

2008-05-02T20:01:00.003-07:00

Wow, God is truly a great GOd! The blessing He has given to us, The faithfulness He has shown to us, and the wisdom He show He is capable of having! God has truly bless our cell groups, Grace's cell group and Mei Yen's cell group!

The outing on labour day has been a really great day for all of us. We can see that both cell group youth mixed very well together. And all of us have a great time fellowshiping together! The most important thing is that we really have great fun! Although there is some injuries involve, like Han Qiang's hand kenna scratch when playing the snatching game, and kevin trying to bring the UNO STACKO down with a packet of chilli..

Anyway, the most important thing is that after this outing, i truly believe that God is going to give us a youth ministry soon! If we just commit our heart and our time into our cell groups, and bring more youths in, I believe God is going to a greater thing in this 2 cell groups, something He has never done before, and something we have never experience before!

一颗心从此为你无家可归

2008-04-12T09:46:00.000-07:00

I had sinned against You, so very often,
In the past, in the present, and probably in the future.
I havd disobey Your teaching, I had disregard Your word.
I had taken Your grace for granted, ignoring the love You always have for me.
But now, I come before with a heart of sorrow, a heart that feels out of place,
A heart of worries, a heart of despair.

But even of all the things i have done wrong, lust, proudness, boasting, lying, cheating,
You still accept me with open heart, with open arms, with unselfish love.
You remind me, "I am your God, I had died for you, and I will always love you, no matter what..
The price I paid on the cross is for you, and I will always be with you."
You told me to come to You again, just to worship you.

Oh Almighty God! All the things under heaven belongs to You!
You do not own any people anything. There is no God that is as powerful as You, Jesus.
There is no enermy that You cannot defeat, there is no man that can go against will.own
And of course, there is no cold hearted heart that You can't break, like mine.

But yet of all the people in this world, You have chosen me to be Your child.
You have given me the everlasting life, You have given me Your word.
The most precious things of all, You have given me Your love,
You have find a home for my heart.

So now, Jesus, let me live a life that will be pleasing to You!
So now, Holy Spirit, let my life to be in Your guidance.
So now, let me be alive for You!
I will not only spend quality time with You,
But I will spread Your love to people, I will apply Your teaching to my life.
I will Do my best, live out the dream You have put in my heart, and Glorify Your Glorious name.

Most impt thing, I commit my heart to You. Let my heart be always commited to You, let my heart always love You!

If my heart is away from You, then let my heart be broken. Let my heart be 无家可归, until this heart of mine find peace in Your love again..

The Him - Her

2008-04-08T07:17:00.000-07:00

It was raining so lightly, it can even be consider to be a drizzle. Yet, in his heart, it was far more then a drizzle. A thunderstorm was raging in his heart, a storm that he cannot calm, a storm that he can't escape. Hell.. What the heck is going on??! why is it that I am facing this kind disaster? The Stranger, thats what he called him self. He don't even know who he is anymore. He can't seems to see what is his purpose in life.. even though there is a thunderstorm in him, after the thunderstorm pass, what remains will just be a empty space in his heart. I am stuck, rite? Stuck in this stupid life.. walking in circles.. He stop in front of the SK jewellery shop, looking at reflection on the display glass. His reflection told him that he came from the henchman tribe. His hair was long and curly, his face was unshaved, unkempt. He look like he haven't slept in 3 days time. The truth is, its 1 week, to be exact. Suddenly, the necklace at the back of the display cabin drew his attention. He can no longer hold back the tears that have been wanting to come out for a long time. The dam broke, and the tears came rushing out, the source of the tears? A broken heart..

3 years ago, He and Clara met in a birthday party of someone they don't really know. They were invited to this party, held in a big private estate. Peter,the son of this rich man throw this party. A cocky fellow, he always manage to look at someone with that kind of eyes, that can easily get him into trouble if he happens to be in a nowadays secondary school. He will already will have been dead outside, if his dad did not save his sorry ass everytime the cocky son get into trouble with his bride and $$$ . The Stranger only know Peter like how he know Jay Chou. Thats all. He knew the reason why he was invited to this party was because Peter like his birthday party to be big, to show his popularity in the school. So The Stranger was a last min stow in. He had no choice but to come, or else his school life will be turned upside down by Peter's man. He walk around the pool, wondering how long this party will last. There were laughter all around. Loud Techno music boom out from the mega speaker. The Stranger walk towards the table to grap a beer. No need to save for peter. He is filthy rich. The Stranger was just about to grab that can of beer, when he realize his right hand was not touching the can, but in fact was touching another left hand. He look at the hand, then at the owner of that hand. Clara. Both of them look at each other in the eye. Its sort of a fate. Whats yours is yours. Deep in his heart, The Stranger thought, She is mine!

One week later, The stranger and Clara were going to school together. 3 wks later, they were going out for a date. 3 mnths later, they were "offically" together, why? because He is holding her hand, finger locking style. 1 year later, they were over the moon. kisses started to come in. Why not? 2nd year, they graduate from college. The stranger pursue a full time career in the govt service, While Clara got into a full time housing agent. Both of them are planning to develop in their career, ready to conquer the world. And then, get married. Simple and easy.

Just that it wasn't so easy. He was really excelling in his job, earning big bucks every month. However, because of greed, because money is the root of evil to all mankind, which is probably more or less true, He become corrupted. In a Govt job, it is easy to make big moneys, just close one eye on the bosses in the Mafia gangster group, let them go, and easily the group will be grateful, and repay Him with lots of thanks, in the form of $1000 notes, lots of them. He quickly became rich overnight. Of course, Clara doesn't know. However, the internal affairs dept happen to know, The Stranger was fired immediately, with charges of corruption and mal practiceawaiting to be drop onto him like a bomb in the court, awaiting to wreck his future. Everything starts to fall from here. His family disown their own son. His friend treat him like a total stranger.

And Clara.. Oh Clara! Clara broke up with him soon, returning the necklace that He had brought for her during the first year of their relationship. "I don't know how to continue this relationship anymore, I am sorry. I need to leave you. You let me down too much" Clara look into his eye and said those exact words, cutting into his heart with those cold-eyes, and those words.. especially the last 6 words..

"ah... ah....! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" WHY DID I DO THOSE THINGS?! WHY DID I WRECK UP MY FUTURE MYSELF??!! He bang his head into the display glass. The glass shattered, The Stranger was cut on his forehead by the glass, but he felt no pain. Blood was gashing out from the deep cut on his forehead. A few people scream and shouted. The Stranger grab a woman nearby, "Why are you screaming??!! I ALREADY HATE MY SELF SO MUCH! SHUT THE HELLL UP" He shouted, dripping blood all over the woman.

"Sir, let go of the woman !" one of the 2 security guard who have just arrive on the site.

"SHut the HELL up!" HE shouted! THEy don understand me, do they?!!!

"LET GO OF THE WOMAN N-"

"I SAY SHUT UP!" he is till holding onto the woman, restraining her from running away. I am losing my nerve rite?

Just then the other guard, who is smarter alot then the one that keep screaming, knock Him off his feet. The stranger fell face first, and then the world start to fades into darkness..

All I can remember..

断了的旋

if I have wings I would fly..

2008-03-21T06:17:00.000-07:00

Who wouldn't? I mean flying is such a wonderful experience. Its not like sitting in a plane, or a helicopter. But, You Have Wings, and you are literally free! You tahave wings, and you can fly anywhere you want. Want to go JB shopping? Just take your purse and money, and fly there. Want to go Taiwan to see Pastor Zhang, take your bible and notes and just fly there! Want to take part in the election in america, Just FLY THERE!!! Although maybe you will die from tiredness halfway flying there.

I want to have a breakthrough in my life. Like what the word say, that I am free from every bondages, and just so free. Yes God's faithfulness is always there. His hand is always holding me from falling, even if I would have fall, I will fall safely in His mighty hands. Yes indeed, if I have wings I will fly, carefree, freedom, and no need to worry about anythings in this world. Because His love last forever, faithfulness endures..

New Chapter of my Life!

2008-02-26T03:35:00.000-08:00

Yes, a new chapter of my life is going to start. A plan is going to unfold, a time of difference is going to happen, ALOT of hardwork is going to take place, God's will is going to start happening in my life, A TIME OF UNPROFANE IS GOING TO ARRIVE!!!!!!

HALLELUJAH! PRAISE THE LORD, HE DESERVE ALL THE GLORY, ALL THE PRAISE! IT BELONGS TO HIM!

Well well, this year 2008 is going to be more meaningful then all other 17 years I have live. Why? Because this is the "leap year". I am taking a bold step, I am leaping myself into a world of unknown, a world of mystery. Compared to all the 17years of my life, 2008 alone can beat all the previous years's events that had took place. I am really going all out for this "thing" that is in my life. For this passion I have in my life.

You know, God say in the bible,
Matthew 17:20He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

Have faith in God, and nothing will be impossible for you. Sometimes you might think that,

"hey i really like to do this thing(eg surfing, designer, musician,) I am really interested in this thing, I may even want my fulltime career to be doing this thing! But it is only my dream. Bai ri mong. I need to be realistic. I can never make it."

No! Rely on God, and everything is possible! God gave us dreams and passions to pursue. God make some people to like music, some people to love desiging, some people to be doctors, some people to like surfing.

This year is the leap year. Lets be courageous. You might feel unsure wether you can make it to the target, you might even be scared, you might even ask yourself " What if I fail?"

Lets cast away all those thing. Stand up, Be courageous in pursuing yout dreams and Passions! Leap into the road that you are made to run!

Chinese new year!

2008-02-08T08:21:00.000-08:00

wa lau, its chinese new year liaoz lor. Haha, why am I being so grumpy? Cause time don't just fly. It literally teleport. Its Feb liaoz! 1 mnth gone.. 1/12 of 2008 gone. Time is precious, don't waste it! Especially not in 2008, which is going to be a year full of blessing!

Things I will like to accomplish in 2008:
- Grow in realationship With God! (Love!)
- Finish reading the whole bible...(Its about time that I finish it.. its been 3 years already)
- Hope to bring more souls to Christ, to harvest more for the kingdom of God. (Its a must)
- To breakthrough and breakthrough, to grow and grow. (I don't believe there is a limitation to God)

ok now for something less spiritual...
- Improve my guitar skills. (A strong desire in my heart.)

- To expand on my music techniques and skills. (Another strong desire in my heart)

- Can slim down>>??? (I really doubt that.. but then just give it my best shot ba..)

- Find a new girlfriend>>>??? (LOL. no la jus kidding.. not now. no gals also want me now.. sob..)

- To earn more $$$ lor. (thts the basic)

- Be more dicipline in my life. ( I am really very lazy)

Thts all I think. I really pray that I can accomplish all this in 2008, or what is left of 2008.
Time teleport, in a blink of an eye, 2008 can be over. Even worst, our life can already be over. Or more likely, end times come liaoz, Jesus Christ return. Then at the end of our life, we will find that there are so many things we have not accomplished.

I will like to tell all of you that are reading, if there is something that you want to do, and that particular thing doesn't lead to sinning or going against God almighty, then I really think that we should treasure the amount of time we have left, and go ahead and do it.

Don't waste your life, Don't waste ur talent, Don't give up too easily...

Don't live to Regret.

Secrets.. Oh Secrets

2008-01-26T09:13:00.000-08:00

Everybody have secrets in them, that possibly no one will know, except yourself and God. Sometimes even your own friends, or your own brother and sister in christ, or your leaders, or even your blood releated family members don't know about the Secrets hidden deep in your heart. I admit it, I have some secrets that I am not willing to share with anyone, not even my closers brother. Its not that i don't trust them, but the fact is that these secrets can't be told, it is just.. forbidden. But there is one I felt that I should briefly share here, so as to release the pressure in my heart, and to release the door.

As I keep on growing in age, as I keep on maturing, I realise one of my biggest problem in my life is my weakness towards girls. Sometimes if a girl treat me too nice, I will have the thinking, I have the thought that, "hey maybe this girl is interested in me." And I will be day dreaming about the possibly between me and this girl, day dreaming of what will happen if we happen to get together. Though of cause, I am not so sensitive until an extent when the opposite sex talk to me I will fall for her, or when a girl is a good friend of mine. OF CAUSE NOT. Its just that sometimes this girl is really attractive.

The worst thing is that I will think that the girl like me too. Haha. It could even worsen till one point, where whatever the girl do will seems that she did it like she is interested in me. Like sometime she talk to me, or she look at me, I will be thinking"hey this girl talk to me this way, i think she like me too." You know? I will start to let my imagination runs wild, and it seems that everything she say to me will let me think that she like me too!

In these recent years, I have tell God that I do no want to have any girlfriend at this young age of mine. I have also never confess to the girl that I like her. But the problem is still there. All these thoughts will still be swirling in my mind. Its like, I will only be thinking about the romance and stuff like that, and thats all.

But! To be frank, this kind of problem only happen one or 2 times in these few years. And also thank God, it did not happen again.

This is a very frank Post. I want to realease this problem once and for all, and I do not want this kind of problem to bother me anymore. In 2008, I want this year to be a point of difference in my life. No more this stupid problem, I want to breakthrough... I will breakthrough.

Impatience

2008-01-05T09:34:00.000-08:00

I really realize I am a very impatience guy.. I am impatience with God, impatience with people, impatience with lots and lots of things.

I felt that, if I really want to get closer to God then ever before, I need to tear off this impatience habit from my heart and toss it into the flame. In this 2008, I really want to love God more, I really want to know God better, I want to fullfill His dream for me, and I want to work with Him.

This 2008, I am going to tear down this impatience, and move upward, towards heaven.

I like This song.

2007-12-28T21:24:00.000-08:00

I like this song. Its called "Built To Last", by a band call Melee.

'Built To Last'

I've looked for love in stranger places,

but never found someone like you.

Someone whose smile makes me feel I've been holding back,

and now there's nothing I can't do.

'Cause this is real, and this is good.

It warms the inside just like it should,

but most of all it's built to last.

All of our friends saw from the start.

So why didn't we believe it too?

Whoa yeah, now look where we are.

You're in my heart now.

And there's no escaping it for you.

'Cause this is real, and this is good.

It warms the inside just like it should,

but most of all it's built to last.

Walking on the hills that night

with those fireworks and candlelight

You and I were made to get love right

'Cause this is real, and this is good.

It warms the inside just like it should,

but most of all it's built to last.

'Cause you are the sun in my universe,

considered the best when we've felt the worst

and most of all it's built to last.

Haha.. beautiful lyrics. Maybe I will sing to my future girlfriend next time. I think she will cry.

New Start!!

2007-12-28T10:21:00.000-08:00

Hello guys, well here I am to blog again. I have been so busy with my job that I literally have no time to do anything else except to sleep when I drag my body back home. -_- well ot everyday from mon-fri.. what do u expect... sianz...........

Anyway, 2008 is coming!!!! WOOHOO!!!

Yeap, and I am very excited about it, though 2008 doesn't have any siginificance figure or number to me. The reason is because I can't wait for a new start, a new start in my life, a new start in my everything.

I felt that I have wasted so much of 2007, yes indeed I have met some of the goals I had set during the starting of 2007, there are so much that I have not accomplished at all. Life is such a dragging process, one with no meaning in it.

I really want to use 2008 to really fullfill my purpose in life, to really excel in 2008 doing everything as best I could. I will be writing my new year resolutions down, and I am seriously going to do my best to accomplish all of it in 2008.

Time really flies, its coming till the end of 2007, and going to 2008. Life is so short, and who knows when Jesus is coming back. I want to live my life to the fullest in everyday of 2008. Even if i fail to hit my targets for 2008, I will not regret it at all, at least I have done my best.

2008 is for God,

I want to live fully for Him,

to really glorify Him, to do my best for Him.

A Previlege

2007-12-17T19:41:00.000-08:00

Hey guys, these past few days is really been very tiring. After Sunday service, there is the rehersal for our Christmas Performance. And then later at night and following Monday night, need to chiong all the way down to Farrer road to serve in St John Chapel.

But, during all these energy draining day, its really been an enjoyable moment. Especially the 2 nights serving in St John Chapel. I have never imagine that our Music Ministry will have the chance to serve in other church. Its really a total new experience, up on a stage that you have never been before, using equipments that you are totally not familiar with. But, the awesome part is when we just serve with all our hearts, God's mighty prescence came down and exalt our serving and worship!

Just imagine! You are up there on the stage either singing or playing an instrument, doing everything to serve God, and when you look down from the stage, you see people with hands raised up, you see people worshiping God with all their heart, you see God changing people life at that very moment, you see people being touched by God's love! Its a breathtaking scene.

It really a Previlege to serve Him.

And to Ruyan and ShiMu: You ladies did a great job! I believe God will raise you up to a higher level! Jia You!

And also not forgetting the serving personnel for the 2 nights. Its an honor to serve with all of you guys. Lets continue to serve Him wholeheartedly.

"This is for You, for all You have done for me

I just want to show You how much You mean,

My King, My God"

the unprofane guy.. well not really

2007-12-14T09:05:00.000-08:00

this word "profane" means to be unholy, to be characterized by irreverence or contempt for God or sacred principles or things; irreligious. thats what dictionary says anyway.

Well looking at myself now, I felt that I myself is more of a profane guy. There is still a long way for me to go towards being a unprofane guy, still so much to be mould by God, still so much weakness to overcome.

I hope to use this blog to share my thoughts and views here.

fearnot

rewind time

REACTIVATE

Arise again, Unprofane (Hopefully)

battle

Simple life

The Him - Her (part 2)

Song for my season now

Embracing music

Syncthia Sasa (Chapter 2)

scynthia sasa (The Stranger)

as tempting as an apple, but i shall not want.

this song is super nice

the him - her part 2

Woman oh Woman...

Over this mountain, and onto the next...

God Truly bless us!

一颗心从此为你 无家可归

The Him - Her

if I have wings I would fly..

New Chapter of my Life!

Chinese new year!

Secrets.. Oh Secrets

Impatience

I like This song.

New Start!!

A Previlege

the unprofane guy.. well not really

一颗心从此为你无家可归